I am embarrassed to realize that it has actually been a whole year since my last blog post. I had many posts drafted in my head and the note section of my phone. Anytime I came up with something I deemed worthy of sharing with my small following I would start to write it out … Continue reading 3.
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Another year has gone by without our first baby. Navigating what bringing a living child into this world feels like with a previous loss is so complex. It's been a complete year of loving another child who we found out about on this week last year but also another complete year of grieving the first … Continue reading 2.
30 weeks + 2 days.
An odd milestone in your mind, in my mind... We made it. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. Waking up each day this week feeling our little babe move around allowed me to walk into both my appointments this week without anxiety for the first time this whole pregnancy. I gave … Continue reading 30 weeks + 2 days.
your baby is the size of Bubble Tape bubble gum.
i have to start this off by acknowledging the fact that it has been 2 years now since we first began to try and start a family. i think it is important to acknowledge because people don't realize how long this journey has actually taken us and we are still not even at the end … Continue reading your baby is the size of Bubble Tape bubble gum.
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one year. wow. as i sit here and reflect, i keep interrupting my own thoughts. this isn't a year that i want to reflect on. a year ago in my desperation i didn't know where i'd be a year down the road what i did know is that i would be better. i knew that … Continue reading 1.
the next step in our journey.
It happened. Around eight months into our journey we found out a family friend had lost their baby. My bodies initial reaction was to cry and feel sick to my stomach. My thoughts went straight to guilt because I thought I had wanted someone who knew what I was feeling but as soon as we … Continue reading the next step in our journey.
empty rooms.
you buy a house, with plans to make it a home. maybe it has 3, 4, 5 bedrooms. you check that off your list. you start to picture the future. you remember your room as a child and everything your parents provided for you. you imagine providing for someone in the same way. & that's … Continue reading empty rooms.
in betweeners.
I am mostly a person who always has to have a plan. The more chaos or unstructured plans that come into my life the more overwhelmed I feel. Whether it's a set schedule for weekly meals, a do-list at work or an itinerary for an upcoming trip, I am usually always prepared. I function at … Continue reading in betweeners.
the summer without Benjamin.
Summer is my favorite season. I am actually pretty bitter that it is already the first week of Fall. Not that we even get many seasonal days here in California. I mean, I do love pumpkin flavored everything and cozy socks, but I'll miss my tan lines and the pool days more. & honestly who … Continue reading the summer without Benjamin.
it’s a boy.
Most people will tell you the best day of their life was the day their kid was born. For me the day our baby was born was the worst day of my life... maybe that further puts my life into perspective for you. Seems like a morbid way to start a blog post, but hey … Continue reading it’s a boy.
the honest babe. 