An odd milestone in your mind, in my mind... We made it. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. Waking up each day this week feeling our little babe move around allowed me to walk into both my appointments this week without anxiety for the first time this whole pregnancy. I gave … Continue reading 30 weeks + 2 days.
i have to start this off by acknowledging the fact that it has been 2 years now since we first began to try and start a family. i think it is important to acknowledge because people don't realize how long this journey has actually taken us and we are still not even at the end … Continue reading your baby is the size of Bubble Tape bubble gum.
one year. wow. as i sit here and reflect, i keep interrupting my own thoughts. this isn't a year that i want to reflect on. a year ago in my desperation i didn't know where i'd be a year down the road what i did know is that i would be better. i knew that … Continue reading 1.
It happened. Around eight months into our journey we found out a family friend had lost their baby. My bodies initial reaction was to cry and feel sick to my stomach. My thoughts went straight to guilt because I thought I had wanted someone who knew what I was feeling but as soon as we … Continue reading the next step in our journey.
you buy a house, with plans to make it a home. maybe it has 3, 4, 5 bedrooms. you check that off your list. you start to picture the future. you remember your room as a child and everything your parents provided for you. you imagine providing for someone in the same way. & that's … Continue reading empty rooms.
I am mostly a person who always has to have a plan. The more chaos or unstructured plans that come into my life the more overwhelmed I feel. Whether it's a set schedule for weekly meals, a do-list at work or an itinerary for an upcoming trip, I am usually always prepared. I function at … Continue reading in betweeners.
Summer is my favorite season. I am actually pretty bitter that it is already the first week of Fall. Not that we even get many seasonal days here in California. I mean, I do love pumpkin flavored everything and cozy socks, but I'll miss my tan lines and the pool days more. & honestly who … Continue reading the summer without Benjamin.
Most people will tell you the best day of their life was the day their kid was born. For me the day our baby was born was the worst day of my life... maybe that further puts my life into perspective for you. Seems like a morbid way to start a blog post, but hey … Continue reading it’s a boy.
Deciding you want to have kids is weird. You either want them or you don’t. You either are in that part of your life or you’re not. Yeah sure it’s happens by what some people call an “accident” or you didn’t know it was what you wanted until it happened. There are even some people … Continue reading some of us.
the little moments. little holidays. valentines day. easter. the first day of summer. mothers day. fathers day. fourth of july. the fourth of fucking july. What does a dead baby have to do with independence day? And why am I still writing about a dead baby? Well, I thought I'd slip through the crack of … Continue reading here i am.