I want to go back to 2017. I want to go back to innocence. I want to go back to what now seems like oblivion. Sometimes I look back at my pictures from 2017. I see a completely different person. I can feel her happiness. I can feel her excitement. She radiates with with a … Continue reading who am i?
Here comes one of the hardest things I have ever written. Two Thousand Eighteen was a nightmare of a year for us. If I had been told how hard it was going to be prior to the start I would be in disbelief. My life was content before 2018, I thought I had learned all … Continue reading I had a stillbirth.
Once you lose someone close to you very unexpectedly your perspective on life and death changes drastically. At least this is the case for me. Death is inevitable and one day we will all know it. Suddenly the thought of death surrounds me at every corner. Anxiety keeps me awake and ravages my mind every time my husband … Continue reading the state of being no longer alive.
For some reason, recently I have been stuck thinking about things in the past that I obviously can't change. Things that obviously made me who I am. Things that obviously suck but there is no reason to be crying over spilled milk at this point in my life. Maybe it is the hormones. Going on 9 … Continue reading sometimes the past haunts me.
I love to watch movies that make me think. I watch a lot of documentaries and crime stuff. Why is what goes on in the criminal justice system and in a murder's mind so fucking interesting? Anyways, I watched this movie on Netflix last night, The Discovery. The basic premise, without giving too much away--- This guy creates a … Continue reading the discovery.
It has been months since I've felt as carefree as I once had. I came out of 2017 high off life. I've written about it time and time again, about the encroaching feeling that life hasn't been what I wanted it to be since the year started. Then I had another weekend where I got … Continue reading young, wild & free.
Lately I have been pretty uninspired to write much of anything. I feel like anything I want to get out of my head is mostly negative. I hate negative energy, don't want to be putting out those vibes. I know I've written about it over and over again, but this is a really rough season in … Continue reading tired & uninspired.