around 2 months after the event that changes YOUR life forever. the rest of the world moves on. you will get the occasional well meaning friend or family member who checks in at a surface level. once in a while some one you haven’t seen since the event or someone who is a little bit more intentional will ask how you are doing and really want to know how you are doing. the might tell you, you look good or make a comment that touches your heart. those moments mean more to you then the person even knows. but as for most of the other people in your life they move on.
you cry. you scream. you don’t know what to do. you ache. but there is no one there to take away the pain. the event changed you. it was your whole world, it still is your whole world. you can’t expect other people to understand that. there are still those maybe 1 or 2 people that have been there for since it happened and will hopefully continue to be. but you feel like a broken record to them. even your husband can’t entirely grasp what you are going through and that hurts.
the world around you continues moving on. people around you become pregnant. they boast and brag. they have every right to. but it stabs your heart. your jealous and you shouldn’t be, but you cant help it. it was suppose to be you. you were suppose to keep feeling that innocent bliss that a baby brings. you are supposed to be a mom.
this is grief.