I mostly grew up thinking to myself that I didn’t want to be anything like my parents. And yeah that still rings pretty much true in my life.
Up until the past few months when I looked at my mom I saw the opposite of myself. I held a lot of resentment towards her because she is so different and can’t see my point of view. Not so much can’t but really it doesn’t seem like she has tried to even try out a different perspective other than her own.
The past few months, I have been really set on just letting it go. I am trying to accept her for who she is and also for who she isn’t. Being constantly annoyed with her was taking a toll on me. So, now here I find myself feeling pretty good about my progress on the matter and with that being said the realization that I am slowly coming to terms with– I am my mothers daughter. As the saying goes.
It turns out that I now believe I got my “cool” side from my mom. Go figure. I thought about this months ago and have slowly been processing it. Coming to this realization is what has helped me to accept the things I cannot change about her and to appreciate the person she has helped shape me into.
I spent a lot of time in high school and college “fitting in”, which I don’t entirely regret because I made a lot of friends and it led to extensive and unforgettable memories that I still cherish. I was never not having fun. If I got this sort of insight to life from my mom, I appreciate it. Which I believe I did, after hearing certain stories from her and about her. I think it is what made me different from my brothers. I think they received their creative side from her, something I lack. It is what helped me survive my adolescent years. Along with all of this fun stuff, I also inevitably made some poor decisions too. My mom must of seen a lot of herself in me and worried like crazy.
The other thing I haven’t quite yet figured out is whether I get my style from her or she gets her style from me. On my recent trip to her apartment her pile of shoes kept by the front door consisted of Pumas, Doc Martens and running shoes. She never wore these brand or style shoes before I did. Another example, she had her dressed picked out for my brother’s wedding and then upon me showing her what I had picked out for myself, she went and found a new dress. So, maybe she gets her style from me and I am happy to see that happen.
Maybe that is the way mother daughter relationships work. Your mom learns just as much from you as you learn from her as she gets older. I guess, the point is… My mom made me who I am. I can finally see and appreciate this fact. I think this means I am maturing.