It kind of feels like I faked the past 6 weeks. You go from one day behaving as a pregnant lady and then the next day you’re able to go back to drinking, eating poke bowls, and not having to stop what your doing every hour to hold back the gags of nausea from your “morning sickness” (which is actually an all day thing).

It is hard adjusting to normal things. Well at least harder than I expected. At the end of weekend I laid in bed bawling my eyes out. I don’t want to be out drinking with friends all day. I don’t want to be able to fully order whatever I want off of the menu at brunch.

I wanted to be pregnant. 

I guess, at least now I know what to expect. Next time around, I think I’ll try a little bit harder to appreciate the relentless nausea, the lack of feeling like my usual self and the constant double checking of ingredients on labels & menus.

I don’t want this shitty hand of cards we were dealt this time around to define me. I want to go back to feeling excited and planning for our future.

I’ll be okay. I’ve been through worst. Just a small reminder from the universe that life is unfair.

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