My life is weird… I am sure it is not any weirder than anyone else’s life… but still. Weird probably isn’t even the right word. Maybe it is one big obscure adventure I’ve embarked on. Some times unfortunately, but more often than not willingly.
I mostly keep busy to escape having to deal with other peoples sentiments. When I am not busy, I am spending time with my dogs. They show me how simple life can and should be. If I go on living my best life I can’t be brought down by the mix of trivial vibes that other humans carry with them. I mainly just think we were meant for more than the day to day dilemmas many people find themselves in. I mean, I care about people. I care about their feelings, but I like to spend my energy on other things. Maybe it makes me a bad person. I answer less phone calls and connect with less people from the past who I know will only suck in all of my energy that I want for myself and my obscure adventure.
I’ve been sending out my positive vibes and have been reaping the benefits of those. This has been a long time coming for me. I always asked myself, “When is my turn? When do I get what I want? When do I get a break?”. I believe now is that time.
I was fortunate enough to be vacationing in Mexico two weeks ago. Now I will say something I never thought I would say… 9 days of vacation for me is too long. Who am I?! The truth is though, I’ve enjoyed my life so much lately that I don’t feel like I need a vacation from it. Sure laying on the beach for a number of days, drinking an immense amount of Ojo Rojos, and being immersed in a culture I’ve never experienced first hand before was life changing and soul rejuvenating. But this obscure adventure that I choose to live on a daily basis is so fulfilling and driven that it is enough for me. I don’t think I know very many people, if any one at all who can say that about their own life. My world is relatively small in the grand scheme of things so maybe I just haven’t met enough people yet.
I am comfortable in my own skin. I am comfortable pushing myself to new limits and taking risks. These thing have always seemed so out of reach until recently. I’ve spent years changing the image of myself that other people see because I was being someone I wasn’t to seduce those people. I wanted attention that I did not need. I looked for value in things that were nonsense. I spent my energy in other peoples obscure adventure instead of my own. I’ve gone completely out of my comfort zone a lot this past year— & I owe it to that courage I mustered up to pursue things I’d only ever dreamed about. This year has brought me back to myself.
I’ll try to bring this rambling to an end. Being back in my comfort zone isn’t enough. Not yet. There are still 48 days left in this year and still goals to fulfill. It is time to take some more risks. Yesterday I begin my 12 week training program for the Surf City Full Marathon. I plan to challenge the strength of my mind and body over the next 3 months in order to finally accomplish my biggest goal yet. I ran 2 half marathons this year and those races have driven me to push for one more extreme. I want to fully commit to this run and try to switch up my lifestyle. I am going to pursue my own values and keep channeling my energy into my own obscure adventure.
Instead of saying, “Here goes Nothing”. I want to say well, Here goes Something.