Lately I’ve been feeling like a majority of the relationships in my life are one sided. I am always the one putting extra effort into making time and using my energy. I try to extend myself to make sure I am keeping up my end, plus adding a little more sugar. But I can’t win. 

I can’t even communicate these feelings to the people on the other side of the relationship because they truly think that they’re holding up their 50%. I am done, just so done. It is freaking exhausting. I feel so unappreciated and small.

Why am I letting other people make me feel this way? Because I care, I really really care about these people. One of my major flaws as a human is feeling empathy for the people involved in my life, but it goes even farther I have the same feelings of empathy some times for complete strangers.

How do you I get my feelings across without coming off as a complete bitch? I am losing sleep over this. I am upset for a reason. I’m not crazy. Or am I?!

Am I being oversensitive? Am I asking for too much? I don’t think so. I deserve the return appreciation that I put out into the world and to these people whose relationships I actually cherish. I guess it is like they say, you can’t change people. So I’ll just continue to be here–having random outbursts when it all becomes too much, hoping my heart or my head doesn’t explode. I want to be a dog in another life. 

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One thought on “bitter… party of one.

  1. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. 😦 Unfortunately not everything we do or feel for others is reciprocated. One way to cope with that is to channel your effort and energy ONLY to those who make time for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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